I know it's not fair to compare these two clips, but it is just too funny to ignore. The mishmash of words thrown together to try to sound informative is funny in a teen USA contestant here, but downright scary in a VP candidate during a one-on-one interview.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Daily P & P
As the election draws closer, I have a new challenge at work that is disrupting, not only to my work, but to my sanity. I refer to it as my daily P&P with Paul & Michael.
Yep. Porn and Politics.
Every morning I have to listen to them go back and forth about the latest left-wing gaffe over and over again. I admit, with Biden on the ticket, we are not short on verbal gaffes. However, the Rebublican ticket is no image of perfection either. Of course, Paul and Michael never mention any of the mistakes made by McCain or Palin.
What's interesting is that usually when I hear them guffawing back and forth about a particular issue (actually to refer to these things as issues really just belittles the word), I just get on hannity's or boortz' websites and do some reading. I usually can find what they're saying, word for word, in writing. I can't believe that not only do they not have original thoughts of their own, but that they feel the need to repeat it back and forth between them. One of them will say something he thinks is awfully clever, then the other one, on cue, will agree wholeheartedly and laugh. It's sort of like their daily affirmation. They really seem to get a kick out of it.
On top of the politics is the daily dose of porn I get. Now, I have nothing against porn, but I do believe that the office is not the place for it. Like middle school boys, they go back and forth between their computers snickering. I once even walked in on one of them just sitting there watching what appeared to be a blowjob (in my defense it was very closeup and I immediately looked away).
My office is very close to both of theirs, so I am unfortunately right smack dab in the middle of their playtime. They know where I stand politically, so they take plenty of opportunity to come into my office to 'educate' me. I'm not very good at debating, and anyway I refuse to take part in this kind of talk. I usually just smile and ignore them.
If someone were to convert me to be a conservative it sure wouldn't be these two clowns. They both complain almost daily about their home lives, and particularly their wives. Neither of them seems particularly happy. One has a closet tobacco problem; one is a crotch-grabber (his own). One is a fervant anti-islamist; one claims to be Christian but I fail to see any Christian-like behaviour.
The only good that has come from this is that I find myself working from home a lot more. Maybe I'll take the entire week of Super Tuesday off.
Yep. Porn and Politics.
Every morning I have to listen to them go back and forth about the latest left-wing gaffe over and over again. I admit, with Biden on the ticket, we are not short on verbal gaffes. However, the Rebublican ticket is no image of perfection either. Of course, Paul and Michael never mention any of the mistakes made by McCain or Palin.
What's interesting is that usually when I hear them guffawing back and forth about a particular issue (actually to refer to these things as issues really just belittles the word), I just get on hannity's or boortz' websites and do some reading. I usually can find what they're saying, word for word, in writing. I can't believe that not only do they not have original thoughts of their own, but that they feel the need to repeat it back and forth between them. One of them will say something he thinks is awfully clever, then the other one, on cue, will agree wholeheartedly and laugh. It's sort of like their daily affirmation. They really seem to get a kick out of it.
On top of the politics is the daily dose of porn I get. Now, I have nothing against porn, but I do believe that the office is not the place for it. Like middle school boys, they go back and forth between their computers snickering. I once even walked in on one of them just sitting there watching what appeared to be a blowjob (in my defense it was very closeup and I immediately looked away).
My office is very close to both of theirs, so I am unfortunately right smack dab in the middle of their playtime. They know where I stand politically, so they take plenty of opportunity to come into my office to 'educate' me. I'm not very good at debating, and anyway I refuse to take part in this kind of talk. I usually just smile and ignore them.
If someone were to convert me to be a conservative it sure wouldn't be these two clowns. They both complain almost daily about their home lives, and particularly their wives. Neither of them seems particularly happy. One has a closet tobacco problem; one is a crotch-grabber (his own). One is a fervant anti-islamist; one claims to be Christian but I fail to see any Christian-like behaviour.
The only good that has come from this is that I find myself working from home a lot more. Maybe I'll take the entire week of Super Tuesday off.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Cute Cuke
So here's our first cucumber for the summer harvest. Actually it's the only vegetable that has presented itself so far. The other plants (tomatoes, peppers, squash) all look big and healthy, but nothing edible yet.
Kind of cute, no?
Hopefully we have a better time with summer than we did with winter veggies. Out of the cabbage, lettuce and broccoli, all we had was a little lettuce that we ate. We'll just keep trying! Not buying that farm yet though!
Kind of cute, no? Hopefully we have a better time with summer than we did with winter veggies. Out of the cabbage, lettuce and broccoli, all we had was a little lettuce that we ate. We'll just keep trying! Not buying that farm yet though!
Would you snitch on grandma?
I know the pictures aren't of the best quality (I was trying to be discreet), but our neighbor is washing her house! In a drought! Today isn't even her day to water her plants, let alone her entire f'ing house. I know she's like 80, but come on.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Here’s a little unsolicited right-wing propaganda for ya
Let me just preface this post by saying that I am crazy about my father-in-law. However, in true Pence fashion, if you’re going to dish it, you’d better be able to take whatever’s coming. I know he reads my blog from time to time…
This week my father-in-law printed out an article to give to me and Darren. It was printed, one-sided, on five sheets of paper (all that methane gas released as it decomposes; what was he thinking?). I think he was afraid that if he emailed it, we might just hit ‘delete’ and not bother to read it. But I digress. The article can be found here. It basically states that environmentalists are crazy opportunists who will take any research and use it to their left-wing agenda (right-wing extremists never do this, of course).
It is no secret that Darren and I are concerned about the environment. I go to great lengths to do things which I believe will limit my impact on the earth. I don’t consider myself better than everyone else, and by no means am I perfect. I try to do the ‘live by example’ thing. I endure ridicule by my conservative coworkers because I recycle my office paper. I put up with the smells on MARTA three days a week so I don’t drive so much. I spend more money on food because eating organic is important to me.
Darren and I are not activists. We don’t preach to friends, family or co-workers. We really only share our beliefs if someone asks. If someone asks, though, we both can get pretty passionate on the topic. I think that we are both pretty open-minded, too. If you tell me that I am absolutely wrong (yes it does happen), I will acknowledge that I should research the subject more.
D’s dad, however, feels the need to express his opinion on the environment a lot. I think it’s the ‘offensive defensive’ approach. I don’t think he really thinks he’ll get us to change our crazy hippie ways, but just likes to insert a jab now and then to see how we respond. We usually don’t (but today’s his lucky day!).
Anyway, my point is that I really don’t care how much research people are doing to prove or disprove global warming. You can spin anything. You know what, I don't even care if there is no global warming. That is not my motivation for being conscientious of how I treat our environment. I don’t think anybody can argue that doing things that conserve a little of what is limited on this great Mother Earth can do any harm. However, I cannot say the same for the status quo.
This week my father-in-law printed out an article to give to me and Darren. It was printed, one-sided, on five sheets of paper (all that methane gas released as it decomposes; what was he thinking?). I think he was afraid that if he emailed it, we might just hit ‘delete’ and not bother to read it. But I digress. The article can be found here. It basically states that environmentalists are crazy opportunists who will take any research and use it to their left-wing agenda (right-wing extremists never do this, of course).
It is no secret that Darren and I are concerned about the environment. I go to great lengths to do things which I believe will limit my impact on the earth. I don’t consider myself better than everyone else, and by no means am I perfect. I try to do the ‘live by example’ thing. I endure ridicule by my conservative coworkers because I recycle my office paper. I put up with the smells on MARTA three days a week so I don’t drive so much. I spend more money on food because eating organic is important to me.
Darren and I are not activists. We don’t preach to friends, family or co-workers. We really only share our beliefs if someone asks. If someone asks, though, we both can get pretty passionate on the topic. I think that we are both pretty open-minded, too. If you tell me that I am absolutely wrong (yes it does happen), I will acknowledge that I should research the subject more.
D’s dad, however, feels the need to express his opinion on the environment a lot. I think it’s the ‘offensive defensive’ approach. I don’t think he really thinks he’ll get us to change our crazy hippie ways, but just likes to insert a jab now and then to see how we respond. We usually don’t (but today’s his lucky day!).
Anyway, my point is that I really don’t care how much research people are doing to prove or disprove global warming. You can spin anything. You know what, I don't even care if there is no global warming. That is not my motivation for being conscientious of how I treat our environment. I don’t think anybody can argue that doing things that conserve a little of what is limited on this great Mother Earth can do any harm. However, I cannot say the same for the status quo.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
vampires beware
I finally caught a cold late last week. I say finally because Darren has been sick for what seems like the last month and I think I got it from him.
Last night I made myself a concoction of hot water, lime juice (because I don't have any lemons), honey and cayenne pepper. Then I cut up a clove of garlic, and threw that in, too. Tasty. After I drank it up, I ate half of the garlic. Garlic is supposed to have some incredible healing properties. Now maybe my body was already healing itself, but I feel tons better today! So good, in fact, that on my way to pick up lunch, I couldn't help but stop at the Pier One store closing sale and look around. Didn't buy anything, but it says a lot that I actually stopped to shop.
So I would highly recommend the above recipe. Warning: the garlic does linger. I ate it last night and since then brushed my teeth twice and gargled with mouthwash. Still Darren could smell it when I kissed him goodbye this morning. How embarrassing!
On another note, below is a list of the ten fruits/veggies that have the most and least pesticide residue. If you must buy non-organic produce, make sure they're on the second list.
HIGHEST PESTICIDE CONTAMINATION:
1. (worst) Peaches 100 (highest pesticide load)
2. Apples 96
3. Sweet Bell Peppers 86
4. Celery 85
5. Nectarines 84
6. Strawberries 83
7. Cherries 75
8. Lettuce 69
9. Grapes - Imported 68
10. Pears 65
LOWEST PESTICIDE CONTAMINATION:
10. Cabbage 17
9. Bananas 16
8. Kiwi 14
7. Asparagus 11
6. Sweet Peas-Frozen 11
5. Mango 9
4. Pineapples 7
3. Sweet Corn-Frozen 2
2. Avocado 1
1. (best) Onions 1 (lowest pesticide load)
Last night I made myself a concoction of hot water, lime juice (because I don't have any lemons), honey and cayenne pepper. Then I cut up a clove of garlic, and threw that in, too. Tasty. After I drank it up, I ate half of the garlic. Garlic is supposed to have some incredible healing properties. Now maybe my body was already healing itself, but I feel tons better today! So good, in fact, that on my way to pick up lunch, I couldn't help but stop at the Pier One store closing sale and look around. Didn't buy anything, but it says a lot that I actually stopped to shop.
So I would highly recommend the above recipe. Warning: the garlic does linger. I ate it last night and since then brushed my teeth twice and gargled with mouthwash. Still Darren could smell it when I kissed him goodbye this morning. How embarrassing!
On another note, below is a list of the ten fruits/veggies that have the most and least pesticide residue. If you must buy non-organic produce, make sure they're on the second list.
HIGHEST PESTICIDE CONTAMINATION:
1. (worst) Peaches 100 (highest pesticide load)
2. Apples 96
3. Sweet Bell Peppers 86
4. Celery 85
5. Nectarines 84
6. Strawberries 83
7. Cherries 75
8. Lettuce 69
9. Grapes - Imported 68
10. Pears 65
LOWEST PESTICIDE CONTAMINATION:
10. Cabbage 17
9. Bananas 16
8. Kiwi 14
7. Asparagus 11
6. Sweet Peas-Frozen 11
5. Mango 9
4. Pineapples 7
3. Sweet Corn-Frozen 2
2. Avocado 1
1. (best) Onions 1 (lowest pesticide load)
Friday, February 1, 2008
Into the Pink
Monday evening I found myself sitting in a hotel meeting room with about 30 other women, waiting. Anxious, I started chitchatting with one next to me. “So why are you here?” I ask. Before she could answer me, a tall curvy woman with Texas-style hair (come on, you know what that is) came strutting in. She eased her fur off of her body and onto a chair, then walked to the front of the room. “Welcome to Mary Kay! I am so delighted to see such a wonderful group of professional women in the room!”
Okay okay. It’s not like I sought Mary Kay out or anything. Please. The only Mary Kay product I’ve used is eyeliner I bought from a friend in the late-nineties (scary thing…I only recently threw it out). Especially since I have been using mostly ‘natural’ products (Terressentials, Aveda, Aubrey Organics), I really have no use for MK.
The reason I was there is this: I fell for a dumb pickup line.
Flashback to a week ago. I was walking into Whole Foods and a woman stops me. “May I just comment that you have an incredible look, so poised. What kind of work do you do?" I’m thinking, man those modeling classes I took in college finally paid off! “Sales”, I say out loud. “I’m not surprised”, she tells me, “you just have a great look.” She then goes on to say that she works for Mary Kay, some director position, and that with 20,000 of their workforce retiring over the next 10 years, they really want to bring in some new blood. “Forget everything you know about Mary Kay.” Suckered, I give her my phone number.
Two days later, she calls. I don’t pick up. A day after that, she calls again. I pick up. “Hi! It’s Michelle from Mary Kay. I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting with me to see if this is an opportunity you’re willing to explore.” I explain to her that I am actually interested in leaving sales, not getting into another sales job. “Oh, this isn’t sales, this is more training.” So now I’m thinking, oh this must be a corporate job. I’ll just meet with her. We schedule a meeting for Monday night at the W Hotel. She even sent me an email beforehand stating that she was able to ‘rearrange her schedule’ so we can meet.
That, my friends, is how I found myself listening to a 2 hour presentation Monday night. I felt deceived by Michelle, thinking that she actually wanted to talk to me personally. All she was trying to do is recruit me so that she would get a percentage of what I bought and sold for Mary Kay. It is nothing more than a pyramid scheme!! I found this anti-MK website that is very interesting.
Anyway, after the presentation, Michelle tried to talk to me about my $100 investment to become a Mary Kay gal. I told her that I needed to talk to my husband and got the hell out of there. I emailed her the next day to say thanks but no thanks.
That is the last time I fall for some dumb compliment.
Okay okay. It’s not like I sought Mary Kay out or anything. Please. The only Mary Kay product I’ve used is eyeliner I bought from a friend in the late-nineties (scary thing…I only recently threw it out). Especially since I have been using mostly ‘natural’ products (Terressentials, Aveda, Aubrey Organics), I really have no use for MK.
The reason I was there is this: I fell for a dumb pickup line.
Flashback to a week ago. I was walking into Whole Foods and a woman stops me. “May I just comment that you have an incredible look, so poised. What kind of work do you do?" I’m thinking, man those modeling classes I took in college finally paid off! “Sales”, I say out loud. “I’m not surprised”, she tells me, “you just have a great look.” She then goes on to say that she works for Mary Kay, some director position, and that with 20,000 of their workforce retiring over the next 10 years, they really want to bring in some new blood. “Forget everything you know about Mary Kay.” Suckered, I give her my phone number.
Two days later, she calls. I don’t pick up. A day after that, she calls again. I pick up. “Hi! It’s Michelle from Mary Kay. I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting with me to see if this is an opportunity you’re willing to explore.” I explain to her that I am actually interested in leaving sales, not getting into another sales job. “Oh, this isn’t sales, this is more training.” So now I’m thinking, oh this must be a corporate job. I’ll just meet with her. We schedule a meeting for Monday night at the W Hotel. She even sent me an email beforehand stating that she was able to ‘rearrange her schedule’ so we can meet.
That, my friends, is how I found myself listening to a 2 hour presentation Monday night. I felt deceived by Michelle, thinking that she actually wanted to talk to me personally. All she was trying to do is recruit me so that she would get a percentage of what I bought and sold for Mary Kay. It is nothing more than a pyramid scheme!! I found this anti-MK website that is very interesting.
Anyway, after the presentation, Michelle tried to talk to me about my $100 investment to become a Mary Kay gal. I told her that I needed to talk to my husband and got the hell out of there. I emailed her the next day to say thanks but no thanks.
That is the last time I fall for some dumb compliment.
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